Stop Pro-Kras-Ti-Nating

With about six weeks to go until the end of the semester, senior class attendance starts to decline from bouts of senioritis. Shockingly, I followed the trend. Shocking because I never follow trends (I’m presently wearing a 2003 soccer shirt, hoop earrings, and old hiking boots) and because I never intentionally skip class. In two and a half weeks, I attended one class just to make a presentation. My class absence was slightly horrifying on two fronts – 1. When you do the math, each class at Duke costs around $175 and 2. I discovered going to class really is not necessary.

My two and a half week vacation was in fact a blur – two interviews, my first collegiate race, 160 running miles, a 50 minute solo class presentation, a graduate school application, and the ultimate bugger, MCAT cramming. In short, my life was epic. I just kept telling myself, get to April 5, take the MCAT, and you are done. Life will be bliss.

The MCAT was sort of like a race or a game. I really can’t remember any of the exciting details. Alas, my report is as follows: I drank too much caffeine. I faltered over a verbal section on social security. I recharged mid-test on Cliff bars and peanut butter. I prevailed. I finished (note finished, not confidently aced).

Since April 5^th, my brain has been taking a vacation from its vacation. I can’t break down my 300m workout into 100m splits. My Microsoft word zoom is currently set to 200%. Maybe if I make the words bigger they’ll rearrange themselves? Or be phonetically sounded out for me? Sen-Your Dumm-Ass. Stop Pro-Kras-Ti-Nating.

What has been the strangest feeling though is the feeling of being done. Initially I was frustrated. Frustrated at faltering on a section and thinking of ways I could have potentially improved my performance. I even expressed frustration the night after the test by dousing my ice-cream in black sprinkles as opposed to my classic array of rainbow.

It hit me the other day. Megan, you are a Sen-Your Dumm-Ass. Life’s not about getting to April 5ths. There are going to be zillions of April 5ths throughout life -  that’s why life is amazing.

“Be in the moment” is a phrase that has created a cult following. However, I’m a realist and would probably be thrown out of the cult. In the middle of a workout I’m still going to want that last rep done. I’m currently thinking about my Whole Foods dinner. That’s never going to change. My life will still be epic, but it will be done my way: it will be fun and balanced. I am going to look forward to future moments and love past moments.

I love this, which means I'm probably officially booted from the cult.

I’m currently reading One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and saw this quote – “Man, when you lose your laugh, you lose your footing.” From now on, extreme sarcasm does not count as laughing. Neither does post-practice test- book throwing. With that in mind, laughing at me, rather than with me, will definitely still count.